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| This might just be my last blog for a while. My list of things to do in the next week has greatly increased with my new job and my choice to still take 5 classes. God is good and provides more than I could ever ask for. My question right now is are you a Ecclesiastes 12:12 person or a Deuteronomy 29:29 person with a little A.W. Tozer on the side. That is the question I keep asking myself. Not much else to say except that I am currently comparing the Masoretic text with the dead sea scrolls and the Septuagint. Needless to say that is two Hebrew translations and one Greek one. Hmmm which translation has the best external and internal evidence?
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| Burn out Brighter
Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something
Facing towards the heavens
I fell into a pitch black
I'm moments from landing and I'm shaking like a heart attack
Is the time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can't take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight
Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me
All I know spins out of control
Wonder what's next for heart and soul
Nothing I earned can save me now
Hearing one day be my final hour
Is the time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can't take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight
Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me
Don't wanna leave this world knowing I preach in vain
Looked out for myself, so sorry so ashamed
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried
Chased all my dreams that I can't weigh on the inside
Live, I wanna live on fire
Die, I wanna burn out brighter
Brighter than the Northern lights
Wanna live to feel the daylight
The more I live I see that this life's not about me
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| A cog has been thrown in the plans that I had for this next year. mmmmm God you are a funny fellow.
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| What if reaching your full potential involved giving up the dream, giving up reaching your full potential? I know that this sounds illogical but keep reading. If embracing people around you versus eliminating toxic relationships. Focusing on giving versus taking. People that make us better people have a buy in, you have to give first to receive the life changing realization that it is hard to give to those that will not give back. We all can love those close to us but as a prophet said once "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If (insert your name here) love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors (Pimps, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, celebrities) doing that? And if (insert your name here) greet only your brothers, what are (insert your name here) doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." The hard to love are the people that truly transform our lives! To live a truly transformational life that is "in the hands of the potter" we have to let go give up our dreams taking hold of Gods will, His transformational will in our lives. Many times in my life I have thought that material prosperity equals God's blessing. I think this is a false foundational American understanding of the scriptures. God's blessing is through people I can live without stuff but I can not live without human contact. I am far from starving but when my relationships are cracked and broken I feel like I am starving for contact with people. Even the most introverted person desires some human contact. God blesses through allowing opportunity for us to create meaningful friendships and serve our fellow man with our material prosperity. For some reason we are blinded by things not eternal, money, status, respect and position. I find all those things alluring but not near as meaningful as I once did. I realized that I am not alone in this struggle and found someone 2000 years ago going through the same sanctifying process. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish (The word scata better rendered "dung"), that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." My heart says I want to share in His sufferings but my life does not reflect that. How can this be remedied? If he was the remedy for my sin not coming to further to condemn but to save (John 3:17). Was part of His coming and the subsequent freedom Christians have a result of their power over the rulers of this world. If you can suffer, suffer to the point of death without blinking an eye you have victory over all the power of this world. When you can face emotional and physical pain, pushing on with an eternal focus the world is yours. You have freedom to do anything right and Godly in this world. In essence the details do not matter as much anymore, except for one detail that you are in Christ alone.
Currently I am still working out the details of my internship this year with Christ's Covenant Church in Winona Lake IN. That brought my mind to all of details involved along with all the moving details it entails. Details cause us to be in bondage to worry. God had, has a plan for all of us. In that I know plans are good but sometimes changes to those plans are hard to deal with. Changes in plans allow God to show how finite we are and how infinite He is, leaving us wondering how He is going to work everything out. Those times require submission to a reality we can only get a glimpse of through the message and mission of Jesus Christ. The kingdom of God is here through the work and persons of the true church. But is not yet here in that theocracy has not been established with Jesus Christ reigning over all. Back to details...Christians are clearly to live our lives in light of this fact "Christ is coming back to reign over all and He reigns in your hearts this very day." I hope that this is true in my life as well as anyone reading this where ever you are.
I hope this made you think. There was many "I's" in that obviously God still has much to do in my
life. "So what about now? What about today? What if your making me all
that I was meant to be? What if our love never went away?" - Daughtry
I leave town on August 26th for Indiana...
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| I have not posted much up here lately...so today is the day that I am going to.
The last two weeks have been a rush of things going on. I preached, worked, signed a lease, flew in a plane, listened to some great speakers, worked and now I am crashing from a long two week span. I am officially broken. I give up, my life needs to be lived in constant surrender to the will of God. "This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." --George Bernard Shaw We all have things that we want to live up to, places that we want to go, a style of living that we have become accustomed to, what if all those paradigms were broken down and you did something that only God could do through you. What if you could only do this if you sacrificed your picture of the way things are supposed to be? Doesn't sound easy does it...when are you pushed to do that? Only in desperate times of your life. As the saying goes "desperate times call for desperate measures." Many times the context of this saying is centered around sinful behavior but since Jesus came turn the world upside down I am going to ask you to look at this upside down from how you have seen this saying used. Think "desperate times call for desperate measures" to mean "when you are desperate you act in ways that require submission to something bigger than yourself." When you are desperate you become focused. Generally this entails focusing on one thing, although in some cases many strategical things. When is the last time you have been desperate for anything? So consumed by it that you can not think about anything else?
Today I went to the bank and on the way back I was going to buy some things and every place I went they did not have them. I think that God is telling me "Don't spend the money that I have given you." What would it take for you to think that? It did not take me much just two places that I went to.
I did end up buying something today or somethings. I got 24 books for 37 dollars. I am so excited for the reading that I will be able to incur upon arriving in Indiana. That along with the books that I bought last week are making me evermore excited to be back in school. That along with the job I have for the next school year is getting finalized. Along with all this I am leasing a house with a friend of mine right next to the lake.
"Hosea's Wife"
I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
"What do I live for?"
I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin
There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?
We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies
We are more than dust
That means something
That means something
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans
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